Drawing Out My Insecurities
Until a few weeks ago, I had never drawn a nude figure. I know right? Me with my MFA and no nude figure drawing experience? I can blame myself and others for this, and I will in this blog post, but first I want to thank Hannah Miller and Peddie and Fish Artist Collective for organizing weekly figure drawing classes that allow anyone in the community to practice life drawing with clothed and nude model options. This opportunity checked a box that took decades to achieve, so thank you!
There are some gaps in this story, and maybe I will fill them someday. The reality of the situation is that education isn’t perfect, and we have to set an expectation with ourselves to continue learning for the rest of our lives.
I attended Hanover College from 2000 to 2004 and majored in Studio Art and Art History. I took three courses in drawing on top of a foundation class that touched on drawing skills. My third drawing course was in figure drawing, and at the time our professor was not allowed to hire nude models. We had student models that wore leotards, and we were all limited in our ability to learn the intricacies of anatomy because of this. I know my professor fought the rule and one student went so far as to seek out a nude model off campus. I turned to art history to further my learning. One of my previous drawing classes traveled to Florence, Italy for three weeks where there were plenty of depictions of nude forms from hundreds of years ago. I thought it was ironic that 1400’s Italy was less conservative about human form in art than 2000’s Hanover College. My first bit of protest art was drawing nude, larger than life versions of the three graces from Botticelli’s Primavera for my final project in that drawing course. Hanover College ended up giving me an award for this piece and buying the tryptic for their collection.
Untitled (Muses/Graces/Sirens), 2003
I suspect the President Rusty Nichols (who was very conservative) may have been the stickler about nude models. I never heard exactly what the rule stated. I just know that I felt stifled, and then when applying to MFA programs, self consciousness crept in. I felt like I was missing a key part of being an artist. My transcript from Hanover College only lists Drawing I, Drawing II, and Drawing III and my portfolio did show my award winning drawings of nude figures, so admission committees wouldn’t have known that I was deficient in my experience. My artwork also evolved into more abstract subjects, so when I was accepted to a MFA program, figure drawing never really came up as a need for the direction of my work. I wonder if I subconsciously avoided figure drawing classes because I was worried my inexperience would be revealed and I would be shamed by my fellow students and professors? I know they wouldn’t have, but that fear was present in my mind.
Now twenty-one years later, I have been attending weekly life drawing sessions since late January at the Peddie and Fish Artist Collective. In my fourth drawing session we had our first nude model. I can tell that is something I need to practice more, but my fears of being inexplicably bad at it because of my lack of experience were undone. I could see that anatomy is so much easier to put together without blocks of fabric in the way, and it is a fun challenge to put all of the pieces of anatomy together. I kept thinking things like, “The shapes created by the hip bone are so fun to draw.” and “Am I supposed to draw the nipple? Of course you are, Jane, your eye can see it so you draw it!” You can see some of the results here…
I feel so much more complete and whole as an artist now, even though I know that nothing in my artistic skills have changed significantly, just my own perception of myself. The moral of this story is, don’t let narrow vision of what should and should not be a part of your education become a part of what makes you feel inadequate. Seek out what you are missing and don’t let long standing inadequate feelings get in your way. I wish I had done this sooner, and I am currently looking within myself to find other things that may be holding me back that I can address in a similar way.
Is figure drawing one of the things on your to-do-list? I encourage you to try it out! See you at the Peddie and Fish Artist Collective at 103 E. Main St. in Madison, Indiana for figure drawing on Tuesdays, from 7pm-10pm. Find more of my figure drawings in the “Figure” section of my website.
